Mad Roman emperor Caligula Caesar continues his despotic reign, torturing, murdering and raping his citizens almost at random, while also attempting to fend off various assassination efforts and trying to have a good time, despite it all. Meanwhile, a young woman infiltrates Cal’s harem, in the hope of sneaking in a cheeky little assassination while she’s there. But can she do so without falling for the emperor’s surprising charms?
Asterix the Gaul this is not. A cash-in on Tinto Brass’s infamously depraved Caligula, The Untold Story is as sleazy, graphic and exploitative as the former movie, but without any of the production values or quality casting which might lend it any sense of respectability. Expect no insight into the intricacies of Roman politics either, but rather a series of orgies (one which lasts at least twenty minutes) and a curious mix of softcore sex and groping scenes mixed with semi (no pun intended) hardcore foreplay and oral sex scenes. Lots of oral sex scenes. No-one is safe from all the shagging either: even a horse gets in on the action, as one of Caesar’s underlings hires a prostitute especially for the task of, um, pleasuring the horses. It recalls a British reality television show called The Farm, in which one of our non-entity Z List celebrities was tasked with relieving a pig. Well, you don’t want them feeling left out. Considerate chaps, Caligula, and British TV programmers.